Patience

I wanted to write you
To prove that I'm real
And maybe help show you 
The way that I feel
Not way as in one way
But way as in how
Because ink upon paper
Is how my heart allows
For me to decipher
The things in my head
Because ink stains as deeply
As my blood runs red

See I'm like a record
Stuck on repeat
The needle
It scratches
Screeching beat after beat
But see I'm trying to break it
And that process is loud
It's so thunderous inside
That it radiates out
And sometimes it's beautiful
Whole world cranked up to ten
When I love I love harder
I'll become your best friend
I'll sing and I'll dance
And I'll laugh 'til I cry
And then suddenly
Lights out
And I'm wishing to die

And that same pretty finger 
That you're wrapped tight around
Is the same one pointed back at you
When the only sound
That I'm able to make
Is thick, heavy, and grey
Bricks pile up inside me
As I push you away
Now my limbs feel so heavy
It gets harder to breathe
The well's closing up now
While I stay trapped underneath

And though cold, dark, and lonely
If I wait long enough
And I quietly ask
To stop being so rough
The grey will subside
And I'll come back to you
And I'll kiss all the places 
That've turned black and blue
And I'll love you and mean it
Because this much is true
I'd go to war every day 
Just to come home to you

3 Replies to “Patience”

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